You Can Now Get Paid To Drive Across The States In A Giant Sausage
Nobody knows how their life is going to turn out.
You’re born into this world as a tiny, fragile, painfully mortal thing. And from that ragged first moment onwards, everything that happens to you is strange, and beautiful, and surprising.
Following a strange, unspoken whim, you decide to walk a different route home from work and run smack bang into the love of your life. Or maybe you dream, for no reason at all, of an old friend you haven’t spoken to in years; when you make contact, they mention they have some puppies going for free, and then for the next 12 years you let have this smiling, beautiful Labrador in your life, a source of light that cares for your unconditionally.
Or maybe, one day, you just happen to scroll past this very article on your Facebook feed, click on it, and the next thing you know you’re driving a giant van shaped like a hot dog across the United States of America.
Yep, that’s right, the “Dream Job” trend of 2019 has just reached its peak: Oscar Mayer, one of the biggest hot dog companies in the United States, are on the hunt for a sausage superfan to drive a giant weinermobile van across the country.
Do you dream in ketchup and mustard? You might be missing out on your next calling: to be an Oscar Mayer Hotdogger! Apply now for the opportunity to create memories you'll relish for a lifetime. Visit https://t.co/j6t6kbL2IO for more details. pic.twitter.com/aIWgs7rpdW
— Oscar Mayer (@oscarmayer) December 19, 2018
If you nab the role, you’ll be known as a “Hotdogger”, and your job will have all the weight, dignity and importance that goes along with that title.
You’ll drive the sausage van for a year, during which time you’ll spread the Oscar Mayer word via television and radio interviews, not to mention conversations with the general public.
Oscar Mayer are looking for someone with a degree in communications or journalism, but they’re also eager to consider applicants with different degrees, so maybe you could use your BA in literature to pivot into being a sausage hype man.
Hot diggity dog! You may know that @oscarmayer is currently looking for its newest #Hotdogger – but what you may not know is that our very own Account Team Lead, Donald, once drove the historic #Wienermobile! pic.twitter.com/AmXAePHvIY
— Mobile Doorman (@Doorman4Mobile) January 23, 2019
The salary has been described as “competitive”, and you’ll get some great perks, including your own apparel and, one assumes, a sausage or two.
Applications open on January 31, and you can lodge one here. The successful applicant will start in June, so you’ll have a lot of time to perfect your sausage spruik.
(Lead Image: Edwards Air Force Base)