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What Your Annoying Aeroplane Habits Say About You

Unless you’re baller enough to afford Business or First class, air travel is not fun. If sitting in what’s essentially a metal sky coffin for hours on end wasn’t gross enough, being forced to endure the company of total strangers for that time is dead-set nightmare fuel. And everyone – yes, even you – has bad plane habits that make the journey worse. Come on, people, plane etiquette is not that difficult.

What even is it about being in the sky that makes folks comfortable enough to put on what seems to be a showcase of their grubbiest, most irritating and outright rude habits? Honestly the mystery remains, but you better believe we’re putting all you filthy animals on blast today. Here’s what your most annoying plane habits say about you.

The seat recliner 

OK, there’s absolutely no reason for someone to recline their seat on a flight shorter than three hours. Reclining on longer flights is permitted but only after food has been served, then everyone can kick back at the same time. No harm, no foul.

If you’re a “I paid for this seat, so you can just suffer while I watch The Big Bang Theory,” kind of flyer, you deserve to be ejected from the plane.

Most likely to: Be a The Big Bang Theory fan. Need we say more?

 

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The bare-foot bandit

You’re way too comfortable around others. This is one of the most common travesties against good plane etiquette. You’re the kind of person to tell your mates you’re vegan, get mad at them for forgetting their green bags at the shops, but then smash a 20-pack of chicken nuggs after you’ve had too many wines.

Most likely to: Die alone.

The parent of the kid kicking the seat in front of them

The first time is an accident, the second time may as well be considered a personal attack. You’re the kind of person to hang a “live, laugh, love” sign above their bed, rock a neck tattoo that says “family”, or use the curly font on your Instagram stories.

Most likely to: name your kid Feather.

Clapping when the plane lands

You’re super excited about everything and truthfully, you gotta do a whole lot less. We get that you’re enthusiastic, but the rest of us cynical passengers just need you to chill out, please.

Most likely to: Throw a gender reveal party.

Watching the screen I am watching

You’re the kind of person who, if was ever ghosted, would stalk the person on Facebook, friend their mum, then DM her asking why their child never responded to their text. You’re too much.

Most likely to: be a sociopath.

 

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The armrest thief  

There’s an unspoken, universal rule of plane etiquette that if you’re dealt the shitty hand of sitting in the middle seat, you cop the arm rests. Those who break this rule are human garbage, and deserve to be ejected from the plane.

You’re the kind of person who gets mad when the guy before you in-queue at the pub got their drink order first, despite you ordering a round of espresso martinis when the bar was six-deep.

Most likely to: Ask to speak to the manager because their drink had too many ice cubes.

Packs their own lunch

You’re frugal, and we respect that but why (dear god, why) would you pack an egg sandwich, Karen? Big, stanky plane etiquette no-no.

Most likely to: Drop a stink bomb 10 minutes into a 15-hour flight.

 

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Sprinting to get off the plane the second it lands

You’re the kind of person who will just straight-up steal your line in the queue at a bar, at a restaurant at, to get into an elevator. You reckon you’re better than the rest of us, but in reality, you’re here sitting in economy too. You need to chill, hun.

Most likely to: Be the first gone if The Purge was real.

There you have it folks. Next time you hop on a flight, be less of a trash monster.