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NASA Says There’s A 13th Zodiac Sign And Your Whole Life Has Been A Lie

Even worse than someone who unashamedly runs their life by the stars, I openly scoff at horoscopes and then obsessively read my own and find any tiny similarities to my reality. I AM stubborn. I AM unlucky in love. I DID stub my toe. Mercury retrograde? Shit HAS been crazy lately.

And that was all just from this morning.

So even though I’m in the zodiac closet, the latest NASA discovery of an entirely new constellation, and the unmissable fact that this would mean the existence of a 13th star sign, has really thrown a spanner in my somewhat unfounded works.

Let’s start with the science part, shall we?

Ok, I’m about to flip the story on you a little so sit tight. Actually, NASA has known about this 13th constellation for — well forever.

The 13th sign — called Ophiuchus, which comes from Greek words meaning ‘serpent bearing’ and yes is symbolised by a man wrestling a snake — was actually discovered by the Greeks thousands of years ago. It just gets rediscovered every few years and we all freak out because our lives are a lie, then promptly forget again. Here’s a cute little look at our snake-wrestling champ:

Image: NASA

For some reason though, NASA has chosen now to officially incorporate Ophiuchus, because 2020 didn’t have enough new things for us to get anxious about already.

Well, not some reason, they actually decided it was time as 3,000 years later, “the sky has shifted because Earth’s axis (North Pole) doesn’t point in quite the same direction”. So sure, way to hit us with the logic, science.

Yes, but now the fun part.

NASA, and all scientist ever I assume, would first and foremost like to point out that there is absolutely zero evidence that astrology is correct.

In fact, as this Phil Plait of New Scientist pointed out back in 2016, several scientific studies have been done and astrology was debunked every single time. Even when actual astrologers tried to come up with the framework for science to test, it still failed.

Will I continue to look up my horoscope every time I get dumped? You bet your arse I will.

Regardless of your blind faith, or lack thereof, it turns out the Greeks chose to ignore the 13th constellation because it simply didn’t fit their tidy 12-month calendar. This decision may have been made over 3,000 years ago, but it’s a 2020 mood if ever I heard one.

According to NASA, even ditching Ophiuchus left them with a pretty untidy calendar, as “some of the chosen 12 didn’t fit neatly into their assigned slice of the pie and slopped over into the next one”.

Please excuse me while I recover form the phrase “slopped over”.

But yes, anyway — in conclusion, astrology is a crock, but never stop believing.

(Lead Image: Pexels / Snapwire)