Culture

I’m Sorry, But These Are The Most Useless Tourist Attractions To Ever Exist

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After seeing that Vegas had been very Vegas and opened up a VR tourist attraction “flying over” the Grand Canyon, a heated debate opened in the office. Well ok, I was heated and apparently no one else agreed with me, so now — being the stubborn human that I am — I’m immortalising my opinion in an article because it’s almost the same as proving a point.

Some tourist attractions have absolutely no reason to exist. You don’t do anything once you get there, you don’t learn anything from them, there is nothing scenic about them or there is simply no need to travel to get exactly the same experience (looking at you virtual reality).

We’re not talking about attractions like the Eiffel Tower here, which at least provides an amazing view of the city below whether you think the tower itself overrated or not. We’re not even discussing whether they’re still oddly enjoyable or not.

We’re simply talking attractions that have literally no point or purpose to travel any type of distance for.

I have to be honest, North America and Australia are pretty much the main culprits for this type of tourist attraction, so forgive me that this list is pretty much a self-own.

#1 Any VR Tourism Experience

This was the whole reason I felt compelled to write this story, so let’s start here. There’s been some debate about this in the office, mostly along the lines of “what if you don’t have time to drive the four hours out to this natural wonder of the world, and you can’t afford a chopper”?.

To this I say, then why do it at all? Why travel all the way to Las Vegas and pay to pretend to go to the Grand Canyon. I don’t care how dressed up it is, virtual reality is still just a fancy video.

It’s even more confusing when you are literally just a four-hour drive away from the real thing. Four. Measly. Hours.

I mean, I get it, there are special effects. I’d be less confused if it was a virtual roller coaster or something. But like, get on YouTube, watch a video of the Canyon and blow a fan in your face to get the same effect at home. If you’re going to travel, then actually go travel.

#2 Nearly all Australia’s ‘Big Things’

 

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Ok don’t come for me on this — just because an attraction is useless, doesn’t mean you can’t still love it. I genuinely enjoy stopping at any Big Thing I come across. I’m just saying, 95 percent of them don’t have a purpose beyond existing.

Like The Big Oyster, or The Big Pineapple (although a huge makeover is in the works, which will save it from uselessness.

I will excuse the Big Banana because at least it always had toboggans, which were really the main reason your family stopped there to break up a long road trip. A walk through the banana statue with those weird photos you never paid attention to was just a secondary thing that you did because you were there.

#3 Farnham Colossi in Unger, West Virginia

 

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Also known as the Land Of Giants, this roadside attraction is literally just a collection of large, fibreglass statues. Not even particularly artistic ones so you can admire the craftsmanship. Nope, instead, they’re just things like a giant Muffler Man and a giant Santa Claus.

It’s run by a married couple who just happen to both love giant things and also know their way around Ebay. That’s it, that’s the whole story. Yet, they have still have many stories dedicated to their tourist attraction. Go off, I guess.

#4 Dog On The Tucker Box

Again, I’m fully aware this is another icon, and I’ve stopped along with everyone else on family road trips. The thing is, people make actual detours to Gundagai just to see it and… it does nothing?

It’s not even a memorial or anything. Well, allegedly it’s a “tribute to pioneers”, whatever that means, but it’s literally just based on some random poem called Bullocky Bill, which is about a fictional dog that guarded its owner’s lunchbox until he died.

Look those are my main four, but mostly I’d just like you all to know that travelling to a new place and then paying for virtual reality tourism that isn’t like — a giant Mario game or something — makes zero sense. That is all.


(Lead image: Instagram: @flyovercanadavancouver@misspatsie)