Eat & Drink

10 Of The Most Cursed Foods You Can Eat Around Australia

While our foodie scene is currently booming with cheap eats and sweet eats, there’s another, often overlooked, kind of food making the rounds in Australia.

Earlier this year we were horrified (but delighted) by the Lamington Burger, a double beef, bacon and cheese burger nestled between two lamingtons. Since then we’ve also seen the Fairy Bread Burger which was, you guessed it, a cheeseburger stuffed in between a fairy bread-style buttered doughnut sprinkled with 100s and 1000s.

While these were both available for a limited time only, there’s plenty more crazy food in Australia that can be described in the same way: cursed.

So we rounded up 10 of the most cursed foods around Australia for your foodie pleasure.

To be clear, “cursed” food doesn’t mean it tastes bad. It just means that, be it in size, quantity, temperate or the core concept, these foods are doomed to invade our dreams and do a number on our hearts, minds and stomachs.

Here’s the craziest food in Australia:

#1 A Barbie doll dressed in beef

 

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When literal robot servers aren’t even the weirdest thing about your restaurant, you know you’re doing something right. Spice World in Sydney is a hotpot restaurant that serves a Barbie doll wrapped neck to toe in wagyu beef.

No, the Barbie isn’t edible, but the beef she’s wearing like an extravagant ball gown is, and you can essentially undress her and add the thin strips of beef to your broth with other ingredients like lotus root, Chinese cabbage, enoki mushrooms and Udon noodles.


#2 5 metres of pizza

 

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Pizza is one of the greatest foods ever created, but even pizza has its limits. Not so at Via Napoli Pizzeria in Sydney, where you can attempt a 5m Pizza Challenge.

Round up five mates, and if you can finish the whole thing in under an hour you’ll get your meal plus drinks covered by the restaurant. They’ve got classic Italian toppings like Marinara, Napoletana, Capricciosa and Diavola, so you’ll have plenty to mix and match.


#3 A 4kg Nutella doughnut ball

 

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There are plenty of large doughnuts in Australia, but only the Giant Tella Ball in NSW weighs in at a whopping 4kg and comes stuffed full of Oreos, Kinder Bueno and Ferrero Rocher pieces. And, of course, it’s absolutely oozing with Nutella.

It’ll take at least three people to polish off this behemoth, but take into consideration the fact that its maker, Tella Balls Dessert, promises it can easily feed 10. (10 people. 10!)


#4 A 3.5kg cheeseburger

 

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Melbourne’s Beer and Burger Bar offers The Don 2.0, a burger with 1.4kg of beef patties and southern fried chicken, 16 slices of cheese, 16 rashers of bacon, deep-fried jalapeños, lettuce, grilled pineapple, cola BBQ sauce and aioli.

As if that’s not enough, it also comes with onion rings, chips and two cans of soft drink, which diners will also need to finish in order to successfully finish this food challenge.


#5 Ice cream that’s… liquorice flavoured

 

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Wow, I can’t believe ice cream is cancelled.

The liquorice ice cream won its category at the the 2020 Australian Grand Dairy Awards, and we’re sure it’s very deserving of that prize. But honestly, make any other flavour.

If you’re keen to try an ice cream that’s “brimming with aniseed flavour”, here’s a list of places that stock this award-winning (but cursed) flavour.


#6 An honest-to-god doughnut buffet

 

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There do be a lot of cursed doughnuts. This time, instead of one big doughnut, Goldelucks in Melbourne is offering an all-you-can eat doughnut buffet.

For just $20, you’ll get an hour of unlimited doughnuts, dossants, doughnut and milk shakes with vegan options available. Better get in quick, though — the doughnut buffet is only available until the end of the Easter weekend.


#7 Face meltingly spicy wings

 

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Chicken wings are one of those foods you can never have too many of. Except when you order the Stupid Hot Wings from Trunk in Melbourne, which claim to be 600 times hotter than jalapeños.

They get their immense kick from Blair’s Ultra Death Sauce, a sinister swirl of six chillies including the Carolina Reaper, ghost pepper and Trinidad Scorpion pepper.


#8 1kg of nachos

 

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Everything is larger than life at House of Brews in Surfers Paradise, but nothing is as big as the aptly named Massive Nachos.

The dish consists of 1kg of crispy corn chips, melted cheese, salsa, jalapeños, beans, sour cream and guac. As if that’s not enough, you can even add chicken, beef or pulled BBQ jackfruit.

Still have room for dessert afterwards? Order the Cotton Candy Tower, a 60cm tower of fairy floss served in an oversized martini glass.


#9 Jalapeño Popper roulette

 

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Instead of working with your friends to complete a food challenge, why not compete against them in a game of Jalapeño Popper roulette?

Brooklyn Lounge in Perth will serve you five innocent poppers and one containing a hot sauce that’s been described as “made from the devil’s tears and bottled in the depths of Mount Doom”. Being tricked by food is not high on our to-do list.


#10 A stack of schnitzels

 

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The Schnitzelmeister is a six-stack chicken schnitty tower layered with Napoli sauce, ham and cheese. If you manage to eat it all (plus four sides) in under an hour, you’ll get your money back. That’s a big if, though.

It’s available at The Bavarian and Munich Brauhaus restaurants around Australia, but it’s not for the faint of heart (or stomach).

(Lead image: Spice World Australia / Instagram &  The Beer and Burger Bar / Facebook)