Uncategorized

Plant Murderers Rejoice! Bunnings Will Let You Replace Your Dead Houseplants

Plants are the new children! We millennials need to care for something, but babies are too expensive and landlords won’t let you keep a dog. Luckily for the plant killers among us, Bunnings’ plant return policy has a generous 12-month guarantee built in. You can return your dead plants within a year and the team may replace them for store credit – which you can spend on more plants!

We all have that friend (or maybe it’s you) who is an enthusiastic plant purchaser, but who has a little trouble in the care department. We visit them around the time their new plant baby is welcomed into the home, when it’s given pride of place, prominently visible and easily admired. Her leaves shine in a rich green, she may have some flowers rising above her voluptuous body, and a few drops of water glisten on her stems as proof of her most recent watering.

Trouble can arise by the next visit. Sometimes her soil’s looking a bit dry, she might have lost a bit of volume in her foliage. Maybe there’s a dry curl to the end of a couple of leaves. “Don’t worry,” you equivocate. “Plants need time to adjust, and she’s probably just adapting to her new environment. She’ll be fine.”

On the next visit, it’s harder to make excuses to cover up what you suspect may be plant abuse. By now, the plant’s probably looking sickly. She’s been moved to the corner or (god forbid) has a little cloud of bugs silently circling above her. By the next visit she’ll be out of sight, tucked down the side of the house or abandoned in some common area of the apartment block (“Someone will rescue and revive you,” whispers your friend as they place her quietly beside the dumpster, “don’t look at me like that.”)

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by THE KICSI FOLK (@thekicsifolk) on

Well now, Bunnings’ “Perfect Plant Promise” means that rather than abandoning your desiccated former loved ones, you can return them to the store and get new ones. Just like raising a child (I assume).

Each plant is assessed on a case-by-case basis and serial plant murder may be noticed by your local Bunnings employees, so maybe don’t plan on this eventuality. If the plant’s death is truly not your fault, they can quickly have you back on the path to responsible plant parenthood.

Check out the Bunnings “Perfect Plant Promise” below, or check out the return policy for more info.

Bunnings’ plant return policy: “All our plants (except seedlings) are guaranteed for 12 months. If you’re not 100% happy, return your plant (with receipt or tax invoice) and we’ll refund it.”

(Lead image: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days / Paramount Pictures)