Australia’s 10 Most Underwhelming Big Things, Affectionately Ranked
The Big Cockroach > The Big Banana.
There are around 150 ‘Big Things’ in Australia, but not all were created equal.
For every spotlight-hogging Big Banana or Big Pineapple, there’s a dozen mostly-forgotten fibreglass models scattered around our small towns. Some were built by local entrepreneurs to spruik their wares, or erected by local councils as kitchsy tourist traps. Others just turn insects better suited to a biblical plague into giant, nightmarish statues for no good reason.
But like reality TV concepts, the crappier a Big Thing first seems, the greater it actually is. Here, we present ten of the best.
#10 The Big Cherry
This Big Cherry is not the only Big Cherry in Australia. There was once a Big Cherry in Glenrowan, Victoria, and there is currently another Big Cherry in Latrobe, Tasmania. But this Big Cherry is the only Big Cherry with sunglasses and one thumb up. Rock on, little dude.
#9 The Big Axe
The Big Prawn is a tribute to northern NSW’s seafood industry. The Big Golden Guitar commemorates Tamworth’s country music history. The Big Axe is a nod to… murder?
I can’t find much information about this Kew landmark, except that it was built in 1979 and replaced in 2002 due to ant damage. The latest Trip Advisor review of the Big Axe notes that it is home to the “best dunnies you get on the freeway”, which is good to know.
Also: it would be a very Six Feet Under death if this fell on someone and killed them.
#8 The Big Peanut
#7 The Big Potato
In Robertson NSW, a cylindrical brown log rests on the ground. It’s not a poo — though, yes, it looks like one — but a potato. The potato. The Big Potato is so big you can even walk inside it, if that is a thing you would like to do.
#6 The Big Spud
You know what’s even more delightful than the Big Potato? The Big SPUD, which watches over the town of Sassafras, Tasmania, wearing a top hat just like a regular gentleman. Every time I look at him I let out a deep, long chuckle.
#5 The Big Cane Toad
Cane Toads: feral pest, also the subject of this unsettling statue in Sarina, Queensland. Hate how its mouth is all open like that.
#4 The Big Cockroach
Also found in my kitchen! Ah, Sydney humour.
#3 The Big Mosquito
This Big Thing was built in “honour” of Hexham Greys, an oversized and particularly nasty breed of mosquito common to Newcastle. If you thought a statue for God’s most annoying creation could not get any more horrific, please know that The Big Mosquito’s eyes light up at night.
#2 The Big Sausage King
Here are some news headlines from 2010: ‘Giant 40kg sausage remains at large’; ‘Sausage King’s kidnapping shakes Toowoomba’; and, finally, ‘Sausage King found at last’.
‘Twas a very big deal when this two-metre fibreglass statue of a sausage saucing himself was stolen from the top of Modern Meat Mart in Toowoomba, Queensland. It would be almost a year before The Big Sausage King was found in a quarry and returned to its rightful place, where it could once again stand in this slightly suggestive pose for all to see.
And they say Toowoomba has no culture.
#1 The Big Poo
This is obviously the crappiest big thing. It is literally a poo.